Sorry I'm late with this blog, folks; my husband spirited me away on a short cruise ( a "booze cruise"). We left Long Beach, CA and docked in Catalina and Ensenada. Short little vacay but I just wanted some down time, you know? Unfortunately, I found that a cruise is NOT the place to go for a stylist to turn off her mind. I am flabbergasted at the clothes I've seen and couldn't wait to tell you about them!
When you go on a trip, don't you, a normal person, pull pieces out of your closet with an eye towards making outfits out of them? Do you at least TRY to match colors, styles, SEASONS??? Well, here on a cruise ship for four days I have seen no evidence that these people are normal!!
First, I've seen ladies in their forties, fifties, SIXTIES! wearing clothes, AND BIKINIS, that they shouldn't be caught outside the bedroom in, unless they're making a horror movie. Ladies, I believe you need to accept and love the body you've been given, but that doesn't mean that 230 pounds of saggy, pasty flesh should be shoved into a size 10 bikini and paraded as a badge of honor....."Look, Patty, it fits!".
I'm seeing women of all ages wearing outfits ( and I use the term loosely ) that must have come out of two different closets. A blue and white gingham top paired with brown corduroys? Schizophrenic! Denim shorts worn with an orange sweater that had more pills than my medicine cabinet? Scary! Two women wearing matching metallic tops to dinner? Horrifying! And then my pet peeve, which is evident EVERYWHERE......women in capris, oversized Ts and clunky tennis shoes....nauseating! Yes, there are some ladies in weather appropriate, age appropriate, thoughtfully put together ensembles, but they're a serious minority. Do people just dump the contents of different drawers Into their suitcases and wear whatever comes to hand? They sure seem to!
And men, you're not exempt from this rant. Those of you in your fifties and sixties wearing Speedos......STOP IT! And if your wife or girlfriend can't match her own clothes, don't trust her to do yours!!! You end up with a Tommy Bahama floral shirt and black dress pants, looking like an aging wise guy. And, gentlemen, knee-high black socks with sandals? Please don't. Please.